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my final thoughts...

COMPLETED: 06 Jan 2012/9:30pm

(01 Jan 2012 - 06 Jan 2012)

well, I guess this isn't goodbye after all...

01 January 2012/3:30am

Happy New Year 2012

well; it's late or early depending how you look at it.

had a entertaining time on the strip. the crowds weren't as bad as I had thought they would be.

one thing that was a little different than the last time I had been down there;

the wonderful 'vegas metro' had blocked off certain points of the strip for their own personal use.

causing the enormous crowds to bottle-neck in attempting to walk north/south on the strip. logistically speaking;

it was nothing short of a 'cluster-fuck'.

of course being it was

the las vegas metropolitan police department,

I can understand the 'short-fall' as far

as common sense is concerned.

ya, I haven't been a huge fan of the vegas p.d.

for many years; they are just as corrupt and 'ill-trained' as the l.a.p.d. was back in the late 80's and early 90's.

and yes, I could give examples of their unprofessionalism, but would rather not.

so after inquiring to one of 'vegas' finest' about the walkability of the strip, and of course being shunned by this badge-wearing dick-fuck as he was slobbering on himself over the scantly dressed females in the crowd;

we decided to stay put near the planet hollywood casino.

and when the fireworks began,

it was actually a wonderful location to be.

oh, before I forget;

there were a couple streakers who introduced themselves

to the crowd. and of course 'metro' blew it totally out of proportion, as always.

alright I'll stop 'slammin' the ass-apes in

their monkey suits. the fireworks show was just 'ok';

I'm not a big fan on roof top fireworks.

some of the 'explosions' were obstructed by the surrounding buildings or they just didn't soar high enough off the top

of the casinos for the crowd below to fully enjoy

the complete display.

after the 10-15min array of celebration,

myself and the rest of my clan started back towards the parking lot to come back home.

we arrived in 3 vehicles, but Jessica and her band of crazy women wanted to stay longer.

not sure how they were 'all' going to fit in one car.

the rest of us stopped at my favorite ihop on the way home, and had a snack/breakfast.

after getting back home; Ash, her mom and I took the dogz out for a walk around the neighborhood.

quite a few kids were still out-and-about, and came over to visit and pet the dogz.

after the walk, I popped open a bottle of korbel brut

(ya, I know... cheapo-wino)

and popped some micro-corn and sat downstairs and listen to the mexi-godfather tell a few stories of years

past celebrations he had been involved in.

he is one funny motha-fucka sometimes!

now, here I am back updating for some of you to enjoy,

and others to ridicule.

I am going to finally call it a day and get some sleep.

I will update this page throughout the day with activities, and some parting thoughts.

good night/good morning... whatever!


just fired-up my computer again for the day. I am so going back to bed for 'at least' a couple of hours.

and yes, I have abit of a pounding sensation from the

cheap champ and the tequila shots a few hours ago.

tylenol and orange juice, don't fail me now!

I hear some noise downstairs, and smell fresh-brewed coffee, but I aint going down there just yet.

my petz are still here, my bed is warm... sleep is calling.


ok, ok, ok... I'm up now.

the smells and noise coming from downstairs have

now grasped my interest.

my stomach is churning something fierce;

not sure if I'm hungry, or if I just wanna yak.

so listen everyone, before I go off in a direction today

that I have yet to determine;

I really want to say thank-you to 'most all of you' for

letting me share my thoughts of knowledge and stupidity with you during this past year.

for the past hour or so I have been reading your emails. thank-you for your kind words,

and holiday wishes.

I really do wish you all a very, very happy new year.

I'm not exactly sure in what direction my site will now go,

but I have come to the conclusion that sharing my

day-to-day activities, future plans, and even some private thoughts/feelings are not what I want to do any longer. especially since my life has drastically changed

during this past year.

if it was just 'me' and the 'petz',

I probably would continue my scribbs.

but since I now have my daughter in my life,

it is no longer 'safe' for me to continue with this current format in which I have been expressing myself.

too many unknown variables have come to light

recently to deal with.

not including the 'over-the-top' assholes who are just to

god-damn important to mention.

I really do hate people now.

not everybody of course;

just the 'self-absorbed', 'no-talent hacks' that live in the shallow confines of their safe little cocoon surrounding themselves with their little followers who may or may not worship the ground they walk upon.

it seems to me that any ass-wipe who has a keyboard in front of them these days is an aspiring novelist who believes the words they publish to be exactly the way it is.

as for myself; I did have a hic-cup or two a couple months ago with a certain individual that I have come to regret.

(the reason for my short hiatus)

and even though I may have loss the realms of reality for a brief moment, and acted purely an 'ass', it was a very valuable lesson learned for me.

I only wish I could appologize to her and to a friend of hers for my stupidity, and at the lack of my being able to express myself accordingly with what I type.

and if by chance either of these two women see this posting; I am truly sorry for my actions, and wish the both of you nothing but true-happiness for all of eternity.

ok then. I am getting rather hungry,

or maybe I should have a beer instead... who knows.

I'll be back...


just got back from the infamous sunday champagne brunch at the texas casino.

actually it wasn't nearly as crowded as I had

anticipated it would be.

and I 'ran-into' a friend of mine who is carrying

cocktails there.

thank-you cheryl for the hug/kiss for new years.

still have an itty-bitty buzz from the dozen or so glasses of the sparkling wine I drank along with the ten pounds of popcorn shrimp I ate.

here is a little secret to the vegas buffet;

if you stick with 'one area' of the demographics of smorgy service (ie: mexican, italian, seafood, etc) you won't go overboard by trying 'everything',

and will feel much less bloated after you leave.

and yes, ALL las vegas buffets give you gas,

it's a known fact.

on the way out of the casino, I dropped a little cash in a 'megabucks' machine;

texas casino 1/1/12 @ 3:30pm...

trying to recoup some of my spending over this past year.

hardly got any 'payback' what-so-ever;

fukin machine was tighter than a virgin on prom night!

so now; everyone here is just lazin' around complaining about the amount of food they ate.

and I think we are discussing the possibility of driving up to mount charleston tomorrow.

I will have to inquire about the lodge serving lunch,

or we may just take a picnic.

there is snow up there, I just am not sure of the area's open for sledding and such.

ok, I'm done for now. talk soon...


let me just say this; ron 'tater salad' white from the blue collar comedy tour is one funny son-of-a-bitch.

we were finally football-full and went to target and bought some dvd's:

ron white: they call me tater salad,

ron white's celebrity salute to the troops,

blue collar comedy tour: the movie,

everybody loves raymond; vols 1-4.

I'm guessing we all were in the mood for something funny. so we are watching the comedy tour movie right now,

and I thought I'd say 'hey' to ya.

so we are definately going to mt. charleston lodge tomorrow for lunch, and then to lee canyon to sled and take pics of the snow.

yes, I know that some of you living in 'snow' areas

are just laughing at me right now.

so be it.


I still have quite abit I want to say with what could possibly be my last posting of this type, but as the day goes on I am starting to get very tired and sluggish.

so with that being said;

I will wrap this up sometime tomorrow either before or after we do our mt. charleston adventure.

I hope all of you had a fantastic day and a

wonderful begining to a new year.

good night everyone...

03 Jan 2012/2:30pm

hey guys.

sorry I have been rather deficient with wrapping

this page up, my appologies.

I was planning on continuing with this by this afternoon, but we will be heading back to southern california

in about an hour.

I had thought that we were going to stay until tomorrow, but once again, I was misinformed.

plus Ash is eager to get back to school and see

all her friends.

ah yes ms. ellie you were correct with your email to me this morning; I did have an entry on 'my opinions' page concerning the nuptials of katy perry and russell brand.

the post, which was dated 17 Sep 2010 did indeed 'bash' the p.o.s. 'brand' with his american-hatred remarks and his obvious non-ability to remain faithful once he and ms.perry 'tied the knot'.

and yes 'ellie', you have a great memory;

I did state that the marriage (23 oct 2010)

wouldn't last a year.

it appears as if I was off by about 60 +/- days.

and yes I had 'deleted' the entry after 2 weeks upon receiving quite a few harsh emails from their fans

(mostly his) stating I was an idiot for saying all those negative remarks about 'brand' being;

a womanizing, american hating, over-rated,

under-talented, ugly piece of shit!

so here is a loving message to those fans that I obliged by removing that entry:

Fuck-you mother-fuckers!!!

and this story of katy perry not wanting kids being the reason for the marriage terminating is really a cover-up. how many pieces of 'strange' did fuck-stick 'brand' hit before his wife decided to voluntarily 'give-up'?

*sorry about my 'brand-rant', but I totally despise pieces of shit like him who 'trash' americans yet come

to 'our' country to make a buck.

ok, time to drive home.

04 Jan 2012/9:20am

oh my goodness,

my 'brand' rant above was pretty hilarious.

anyway, while I was driving the rig home yesterday I was thinking about what I really wanted to say here;

and I guess I just want to express my gratitude to those of you who came back here day after day to read my ridiculous life activities and my stories of years past. and for the crazies that came back here a few times a day; your lives can't be that boring...

a few of you have asked if I will be coming back with

'my thoughts' again after a short break;

currently, I'm inclined to say 'no'... but who knows.

I would imagine most of you will find some other schmuck who likes to share his/her life on-line for all to see.

there's alot of 'us'out there,

and maybe they will be more entertaining.

but seriously speaking;

I have made some valuable friendships with alot of you,

and will be doing my best to keep that intact. 

again, thank-you...


**05 Jan 2012/10:30am

hi guys, and good morning...

I wasn't prepaired to update this page any further than the above entry; sometimes it's best just to 'end something' quick, precise and without hesitation.

and believe me when I tell you that has been my exact p.o.a. (plan of attack) since experencing a few hiccups during the past couple of months.

yes, 1 was definitely brought on by my complete and over zealous stupidity brought on by my over-the-top imagination of something that did not exsist.

which apparently has been now, forgiven.

(but not forgotten, by either party)

but somethings have been happening that I had chosen to keep out of these pages.

but after reading so many emails last night wanting me to 'not' stop sharing my dailies, and discussing the various situations with someone I have been 'working' with;

I've decided to share this information with you.

a few months back, my daughters high school had received a few phone calls concerning Ash.

at first 'the caller' had pretended to be me in attempts to have her be released early for a family function,

even going as far to have a caller-id 'faker' showing my number has the number calling. but when they called me back to verify the early release of her,

I of course knew nothing of this.

a joke perhaps by one of her friends to get her out of classes that day? no, I don't think so.

but I have since set-up a security measure to ensure 'no-one' will get any info using that point of contact.

there is more to this exact situation,

and even more examples of possible shady individuals looking for a who-knows-what.

I admit that I am a very 'over-bearing' father, probably more than I should be, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.

I had even posted a few pics on my website that had nothing to do with me, borrowing them from other areas of the 'net' to possibly 'throw' someone off a trail or bits of information they had been searching for.

there are alot of unsavory people out in the world that will always be looking for a quick score,

and/or cause harm to others.

(no matter if your 'known' or not)

I have made it a career choice to work against these type of persons my entire adult life; but until recently had never been personaly exposed to the possibility of a threat.

I take the phone calls, AND letters, emails seriously.

so serious in fact I have filed two police reports concerning the situations I (we) had experienced.

now, recently the few 'threats' have been contained to areas 'outside' the united states. but still makes me wary of sharing certain amounts of information daily for

just anyone to read.

sometimes you can't keep everyone in your life happy.

and yes I consider all of you being in my life.

but 'you can' keep everyone around you 'safe',

and that's what I'm going to do.

my life over the past 10-14 months has changed dramatically; I've relocated, I have met and been accepted into an entire family unit, I've lost pets who had been with me over 25% of my years.

and I learned I had a teenaged daughter almost out-of-the-blue, and am now totally responsible to making sure she is safe, secure, has food, shelter, clothing and raised in a manner that I consider to be appropriate.

ya, I make parental mistakes more than I will ever admit to you guys. I guess not having her as a young child has made me relunctant to not 'giving-in' at times

when I really should.

and alot of you have pointed out various things to me during my new reign as a father.

and tho I may not respond to 'all' you have to say,

I do appreciate the advice everyone has shared with me. someone in particular made a comment in a email yesterday concerning the amount of 'fast food' I let my daughter enjoy. and yes, that has been an issue on my radar. her eating habits are a major concern of mine, especially during this 'stage' of her life.

but when she came 'into my life' and told me she hardly ever got fast-food while living w/her grandparents in australia,

I wanted to quickly please her and let her enjoy the

tastes of everything enjoyable.

so yes; 'ADH & L' I am in total agreement with you with your discussion and email sent to me,

and from the bottom of my soul,

I appreciate that you were concerned enough to

mention this to me.

not that I hadn't thought of this before

(and this is no way an excuse)

but with the amount of people I had been semi-'resposible' for during chow times; it was just easier to go 'pick-up' something than cook every meal.

but now that it's just Ash, myself, her mother

(for the time being)

and Jessica my assistant;

meals will be done in a more responsible fashion.

in fact I have steaks marinating in a light fat-free sauce and the salmon steaks I purchased in vegas a couple days back will also be hitting the grill this afternoon.

a little 'surf & turf' action will be in effect this evening.

I do love to cook, and take great pride of my somewhat limited ability in the kitchen.

but with her grandmother here these past months,

I just decided it was easier to take a back seat to her cooking abilities, and admit I enjoyed the benifits.

ok, so I have alot to do before I pick-up the kid and her friends this afternoon.

laundry for 1 thing is crazy with 3 women in the house.

I will reconsider my thought process of my site.

have a great day everyone.

06 Jan 2012/3:30pm  

well shit...

I'm at a crossroad here boys and girls.

I had every intention of just terminating my dailies and just totally doing something else.

but after receiving so many emails from you guys telling me to continue, I have succombed to your demands.

I will take into consideration what some of you told me I should/should not reveal on my scribbs.

leaving out certain aspects of my life is probably my best bet for the time being;

I just hate censoring what I normally write.

alrighty then.

it looks as if I am going to be all alone here at the

house this evening.

Ashley and Jessica are going out with the girls who showed-up at my house on new years.

they invited me to go along, but that would not be a 'safe' environment for me. I'm guessing something would happen that I may regret in the morning. or maybe not.

but just to be safe, I'm staying home alone.

anyone wanna come over and play with me tonite? ha-ha

my daughter also has plans,

and won't be home til tomorrow afternoon.

so, I guess I will be 'an old man' tonite,

and just watch tv and keep myself entertained. actually, I do want to 'try' and return a few emails to some of you,

but once I start writing to you guys I get consumed

with trying to write as many replies as I can,

and the next thing I know it's like 2am.

ok, let me throw all these women outa the house now,

(ya, right!)

*my disclaimer: if I am drinking tonight;

(which I plan on doing very soon)

and start emailing/updating/texting/etc.

I am not responsible for my obnoxios behavior, moaning and/or any other 'embarrassing' thing I could do to ruin what little reputation I have left in this world.

oh my; if some of you REALLY knew some of my actions of my past (which a 'few' of you know), you most likely wouldn't be sending me such nice/sweet emails. (stfu ms.east coast)! bye, for now...


alright, so listen up my friends.

now, I may be alot things;

a former man-whore, a guy who 'used to' live on the edge, probably not the greatest son to my mother,

and yes there was a time where I would crush your face with my shoe as I stepped over/on you to make

myself look better. but that my friends is part of growing-up. you make fucking mistakes;

and you either fucking learn from them or you fucking lose this damn game we call life.

but there is one thing I don't do, I don't lie.

in fact. I've been told 'I'm too honest'...

what the fuck does that even mean?

yep, I've had sex wirh married women.

actually, I rather perfered it. no ties. no commitment.

just hot sticky, crazy-ass sex.

and the best part was, after you both are finished kicking the shit out of each other on the bed, the floor, the hood of a car, or even on top of the washing machine, and wipe the sweat off of each other, she would go home.

no calls the next day.

no bitchin' about not lovin' her, nothing!

so ya, I was 'the other guy' when I was young, hungry,

and full of an egotiscal attitude.

I thought I knew everything.

turns out, I didn't know shit about shit!

so when I tell you, I have a 'ghost', paranormal, poltergiest, or just a 'spook', you believe what I say.

sometime last summer, the mexi-godfather told me I had a presence here in the house.

he told me 'it' didn't like him, but that it would allow me to live here as long as I didn't try to force it out.

well, needless to say I was a 'little' skeptical but I did believe him, as there had been some strange noises here and there, along with some other strange occurances.

ok. I know some of you are most likely laughing your asses off right now, that's cool with me. you can say that I'm a wierdo and shit, I don't care. I've been called worse.

so let me just tell you what happened tonight,

and then I'll sign-off for the night.

so, everyone is gone tonight;

Ash is at a sleepover, Ashley & Jessica are out at a club with the girls who crashed my house on new years.

it's just me with 9 dogs (yes we have a new shepherd),

two cats, 3 horses, 3 shot guns, 6 pistols, 1 crossbow,

and a friggin' parrot (Jessica's).

so listen, ya I'm a little buzzed, my dinner was a bag of micro-corn, a bottle of korbel dry, 2 white castles from the freezer, and 4 beers.

we 'all' were in the den (downstairs) watching the great charlie sheen in two and a half men, when all of a fucking sudden a HUGE crash came down in the room above me. IT*SHOOK*THE*ROOM.

all the dogs started barking as they ran upstairs,

the cats ran and hid somewhere,

and I just sat there.

after about 30 seconds, and hearing the sibs howling,

I walked upstairs turning every single light on as I walked up the extended stairwell. now when I got to the room to which I heard the noise from (I'm going to say it sounded as if someone had jumped onto the floor from a 30 foot drop), nothing was there, in fact it seemed to be a peaceful place. except for the dogs running around sniffing everywhere.

now this room is Ash' game room.

it is fully tiled, has a air hocky, ping pong, foosball table, 2 tvs, and a sectional. nothing was outa place. BUT, as I walked around, I thought one of the dogs had peed on the floor.

so I reached down to see what I had stepped in;

it was like a vaseline substance. and I can't described the smell as anything but 'tuna'. in fact bev was licking the floor in front of the closet. so being the scared shit-fuck I was,

I openned the closet... nothing.

ok then. I then got the dogs outa the room, closed the door, and walked into every other room upstairs.


no sounds. nothing outa place. no gunk on the floor.

(other rooms are hardwood)

after closing all the doors, I started back down the front stairwell with the dogs with me. at that moment, the light in the main hall went off and on 3-4 times. I looked back during this occurance, said 'hi, how are you tonite' (yes I did) and came right back down to where I am sitting now.

and after sitting here in complete silence for about an hour, having a few beers, I made a phone call to ms.east coast,

told her we need to 'scrog',

and then started typing this entry.

all the dogs all currently laying all around me,

the cats are still who knows where,

and I have 3 weapons at my disposal.

so laugh and ridicule me if you like;

but I know what I heard, smelled, felt and saw.

I'm thinking I may just sleep downstairs in the basement movie room. just because.

let this 'spirit' have the entire run of the house.

I am usually a fantastic 'host', why change things now!

ok, I'm going to proof-read this thing,

publish and go downstairs and watch a 'happy' movie.

maybe the wizard of oz or something 'fun' like that.

good nite everyone, thanks for reading my stuff...   

to be continued on 'my thoughts.1.1'...

my thoughts