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my thoughts.12.1:

(14 Oct 2011 - 31 Oct 2011)

a place to say what's on my mind,

and in my heart...

14 Oct 2011

what started out as a very promising day, has thus far been anything but...

maybe I should have just climbed back into bed,

pull the cover over my head and hide until nightfall.

taking the girls today to school was as normal as could be,

even with studio 54 blaring in my vehicle.

my helo trip to catalina island to view some investment properties wasn't that bad I guess,

but my pilot was like 100+yrs old, and he scared the shit outa me before we took off;

I thought he was reading a 'flight manual, but it turned out he was studying the island charts and wind speed updates. still, it didn't make for a pleasant trip to & fro.

at the island, I met with this adorable little property agent that assumed by slightly exposing her 'assets' she would close a deal or two as quick as possible.

actually, it was rather comical,

but that shit doesn't work with me.

so after the helo ride back & forth with

'the old man of the skies' ,

being 'expossed' to a young ladies improper selling techniques, and having to deal with this sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach that I've had all day long.

what else could happen to make this day even worse?

just wait, it's next:

so I get back to the mainland, safe. (thank-you god)

and just have enough time to make it to the school to pick-up my daughter and her friends. I actually get to the high school 15min before the w/e bell;

and as I sit there I am really just starting to accept the fact that 'today is just one of those days',

and ended up cracking a smile.

good damn thing I had 'taken a breath'.

so as the entire school emptied out of all the doors,

I finally see my kid and her friends walking toward my car.

surrounded by what seemed like 20 guys. (only 5)

I get out of the vehicle and open the doors for the

girls to pile in, when one of the boys say, 'we are going to follow you to your house and help the girls study'.

well, I was shocked by that remark, shocked that there was no intro from either the boys or the girls, and also rather surprised by the look on the faces of all 6 girls.

my observations: there was no hand holding,

the boys had looked as if they were following the girls,

not walking with them, and the looks on all 6 girls faces were that of non-enjoyment, disgust, annoyed and a sense of being very uncomfortable.

now; with all that information being proccessed within seconds of the 'young man's assertive request', I gathered by the obvious uneasiness of my daughter and her friends that this was not a mutual gathering.

my immediate reply was;

'I don't think that is such a good idea'..

his reply;

'come-on man, don't be an asshole'

I looked at my daughters face; it was as white as a ghost.

all her friends mouths were open in disbelief as to what

mr letterman jacket had just said to 'daddy kiss'.

as I proceeded to walk the 7-8 feet to where this 6'2/190pd boy was standing I said 'girls-car-now'!

the blur of them jumping in my suv was lightning.

the next words I spoke were 'windows-up'.

at that time I was face-to-face with mr lettermans jacket.

our eyes a mere foot apart. I asked him in a low whisper if he would like to repeat himself?

he said nothing.

they all said nothing. I stood there looking into his eyes and said a couple things, he didn't utter a word.

as his friends decided it was time to go, he left.

I stood there and watched them walk away.

they never turned around.

as I got back in my car, nothing was said for about 4mins. just before I turned into my drive, one of the girls in the backseat said;

'daddy kiss' what kind of toothpaste does he use?'

we all started to laff.

so that is my day so far...

all the girls are currently downstairs playing with the dogs, making alot of noise.

we are all going to the olive garden tonite for dinner,

and then looking at magazines for shopping idea's for tomorrows big day. not sure what the rest of the weekend will hold for me, time will tell.

I will be off-line until sunday night,

we'll chat then...


good evening my friends.

I've decided that even though I am going to be 'off line' this entire weekend, I will keep my updates current.

god forbid if the saunders sisters in the great state of indiana don't have their 'kiss-notes' (their words/not mine) to read and discuss during their discussion/coffee time.

ah, to be a fly on the wall during 'kiss-talk',

you crazy-old-loveable ladies.

wow, my wine buzz is still with me I guess.

feeling good, and acting strange!

as you read above, my day wasn't the best I've ever had

(not the worse tho).

but it did, or is ending rather nicely.

after my last entry, the girls and I all went for an early dinner to the olive garden. we had an amazing time.

now my rule for drinking is; 'not' with my child riding in the car with me, or anyone else for that matter.

but since 'the grandparents' were going to

meet us there late, (and my day was, well you know)

I decided 'red wine' it is. only 2 glasses of house red-rock-gut; but it was enough to get me lose and smile again.

no matter how bad of a day I will ever have,

I will always try my best to be pleasant around my child and anyone else who is in my life. (I experienced the otherside of the coin while I was growing-up, not good!!!)

ok, I'm rambling; sorry.

dinner was awesome for the garden, the fun-factor was the best, the food was almost an after thought.

but the girls loved it.

grandma/grandpa showed, but refused to sit with us, something about our table being a little rowdy.


after dinner we all went to the corner wal-greens

(I didn't drive), where each girl picked-out 3 mags a piece to look at for tomorrows shopping trip. we then came home, looked at all the different styles (omg!!!) and each

girl has their shopping-list ready.

did I mention each of the 6 girls has their own pre-loaded visa card with their names on them. the amount I decided on will be enough for each girl to get some clothing/outfits and her homecoming gown.

when they got the envelopes w/the cards in them during dinner they all screamed and shrieked in harmony.

ya, we were very loud at the garden I guess.

so now here it is, nearly 10p and I am just mentally shot!!!

I did just receive a call tho from a friend that works at the pure nightclub in vegas, she is in malibu visiting her mother for the weekend and wants to get together while

she is in town. this could be a very dangerous, dangerous (ya, I said it twice) situation for the both of us.

'but', I did tell her to give me a call around

4p tomorrow afternoon.

she thought it was adorable about the

whole shopping thing. she's relatively young (early 30's) with no kids, so she really doesn't understand the whole kid-commitment thing. I'll let her slide.

ok guys, I've been preoccupied during this update, so let me wrap it up and post. good night all.

and please, pray for me tomorrow... 6 teenage girls and me. damn...

15 Oct 2011/5am

good morning.

it's nearly 5am, saturday morning; and I've been awake since 2am. a very, very restless night for me.

the day I had yesterday has alot to do with my uneasiness. but it goes deeper than that.

last evening I read a blog entry that was

primarily about me.

I will not state the main reason for her mention of me, nor exactly how 'we' are connected,

but something she said (almost as an after thought) about me, made me 'think'.

as she was giving a rather vague description of yours truely, she made a point of stating ;

'I have also found that he wears his heart

on his sleeve'.

at first I was like, wtf is this crazy bitch talking about?, she doesn't know me well enough to make that kind of statement about me! and I was a little miffed.

and then as I sat there, and just read that one sentence over and over again,

it hit me hard like a slap in the face;

yes, I guess I do.

I have just never been told that before,

or imagined that as a minor flaw in my character.

yes I am an emotional person at times, yes I do tell it 'like it is' at all times. and yes, my biggest defect in my structure of a man is my tendency to get all wrapped up in the game.

I'm not really sure if it's a 'bad' thing

or a 'good' thing as far as I'm concerned.

other people I have known that have their heart hanging for all to see, sometimes make a damn fool of themselves practicaly for no apparent reason.

or seem to jump to conclusions about the realities of love when they should just take a breath.

holy shit, is this me?

am I that fucked up in the head that I never realized I too act a fool and let my emotional heart chords take control over what should be a rational decision? and why is it that this young lady

(who has some issues herself) that barely knows me can see this, and no one else can?

and if others did indeed notice,

why would they not tell me?

and is 'this entry' relative to what has just been brought to my attention?

maybe I've been wrong to assume that others were at fault for certain aspects of my life.

maybe it was me, maybe it was always me!

I realize I am very passionate in everything I do;

even going overboard most times to express how I exactly feel about a situation.

I am an extremist, always have been,

always will be.

and I don't think I could or would ever change.

so be it.

as a footnote; I would like to state that I am not a big fan of enima's and maybe using this word as a 'heading' may not have been the way to address the point I was trying to make and must appologize to anyone I've ever used it in reference to.

and one more thing; yes I love women's asses,

they excite me and have a strange effect on my demeanor. I am an ass-man!

I need coffee, I'll check in later.

oh, and if a certain'someone' is reading this;

'thank you, I'm sorry and I miss you.'


while I was finishing up the above entry, I was enjoying the serenity of the outdoors sitting on my east patio amoung 3 furry friends and listening to the pitter-patter of hoofs behind the lingering foggy mist.

going back into the house, I was surprised to see all the girls were up from their slumber and had been planning on 'scaring me' with some of the holloween decorations we have in boxes near the foyer. ya, that mighta gotten ugly.

when I do these updates I almost always like to be alone, and am in deep thought to try and say exactly what I have on my mind. a ghost image on a fishing line or a life-size zombie creature standing in the breeze way when I enter the house may have just pushed me over the edge.

I understand 'today' is a new day to conquer and we must not live in the past, but I still have a little slice of frustrated emotions left-over from my entire experinces of 24hrs ago.

that fukin' 6'2 zombie (that was once a movie prop)

would have been demolished within moments

of surprising me. I may yet beat the shit-stuffings out of it just because it creeps me out so.

(Ash saw it in a window display a couple weeks back, and wanted it for the house... so we got it.)

ok then, not withstanding the 6 little 'devils' planning on scaring the blond off my head, I was relatively curious why these girls were up so early (6am).

their answer almost in unison;

'it's shopping day'...

ah yes, the day of reckoning has indeed arrived.

maybe I was wishing they would have forgotten, no such luck.

also, not trying to 'get out of anything' but seriously wanted to know if they really minded if I tagged along today.

it had been mentioned to me by 'a friend' that teen girls like to go to the mall to check-out the boys.

I asked them that, and they all looked at each other and giggled saying 'duhhh!?' I am so screwed today.

so as I sit here again outside on this hazy morning,

the 'hunting party' is starting to ready themselves in seperate bathrooms while grandma is making her sourdough pancakes and the old man is frying up 10 pounds of bacon.

it's funny how all my dogs follow me around like the pied piper of hamelin, but if there is bacon cooking,

I'm nothing but a distant memory.

I tell Ash' grandparents 'not' to give the dogs alot of human food, but they don't heed me either.

no respect, no respect at all in my own home...

ok, I still need to do my dailies of shit-picker-upper and to grain/water those massive beasts who are now looking at me like they want to 'ride me'.

so, I will be outa here within a couple of hours to brave the elements, LA traffic, booming music, teen-age boys, and I'm sure carry my weight in bagged clothing and assesories.

and to think I may have a date tonite and be asked to 'perform' may just kill me!!!

wish me luck...


here we go;

after the mega huge breakfast this morning, the girls allowed me 30min to get ready, and we were off.

I had no idea where we were going until we had already departed the house, the destination was agreed by all;

'the grove' shopping area on 3rd st in los angeles.

during the drive there,

I was given a complete itenerary for the day ahead;

nordstrom was their store of choice to look for homecoming gowns, banana republic for casual wear, the gap was having an awesome sale, blah, blah, blah... not to be rude,

but they were all talking/giggling at once,

so I just kept smiling and nodding.

just like the japanese do when your in downtown tokyo and you ask for the location of the nearest 'ben jo'/bathroom.

I think they just enjoy watching an american

drunk-ass try not to pee his pants.

so anyway, Ash' and her gf's were talking so much/loud the entire time, the normally blaring music was not an issue.

we arrive at the grove, valet and the day officially begins. now, because I was responsible for this 'mighty herd',

the ground rules for accountability were established

before we left the house.

1. the buddy-system:

no-one is allowed to walk alone,

must always have your assigned buddy with you.

2. stay on prop:

you cannot depart the shopping district, ever!

3. boys:

no rides, no 'come see my new car',

and no hanky-panky. (they all laffed, but whatever...)

4. be available:

if I call you on your cell... answer. period.

*penalty: if just one person breaks one rule, the day is over, all debt cards are given back to me, and we leave.

yes, I realize that they are young adults, but young adults disappear every day from all over the world.

and right now, southern california is having a serious issue with missing children; especially girls 12-16yrs of age. besides, these rules never came into play.

these girls were perfect all day.

fact be told, we only all split up once, and each group wanted me w/them, so we just all stayed together.

I won't go into massive details on the actual shopping experience, but let me say this:

trying to get them to spend their monies was like

pulling their teeth.

and I was affraid that they were just going to go

debt card crazy.

it was almost the extreme opposite.

I bet if I had just said let's go shop and I'll buy,

I would have been melting plastic all over the kingdom.

as time went on, they all loosened up, but still it was like watching 80yr old women (sorry ladies) haggle over prices on a sunday afternoon garage sale.

especially my daughter; Ash is like 'the sign says 20% and you only gave me 15%' and the clerk stated no not that one, and my kid looks at me, I just stare back at her. then she turns back to the clerk and says 'may I please speak with the manager?' the clerk gives her the additional 5%.

that's 'my child' ladies and gentleman!!!

we must have spent 2 hours in nordstroms alone with them looking for gowns, trying them on and so forth.

but I am happy to report they 'all' decided to wear the exact same chaffon pink gowns.

um, the gowns are a little shorter than I remember,

shit, I just can't freakin' win! *also; the same gown?, the same color? does that seem strange to you guys?, I don't know. they all even got a better deal on the gowns that were already at 10% off, because they were buying as a group, they got an additional 10%.

they all cheered for saving $50. each.

oh, another thing; my daughter brought the pic of me on the usmc billboard (see earlier entry), and the original pic of me in a tux w/my firebird (see 'just pictures') as she wants to find a place to have these pictures enlarged.

she is so cute. her friends want copies of both also

(not too sure the other girls parents will like that though). she was told walgreens is the best place for that,

so we will go there soon.

I no longer have to be vain, my daughter does it for me.

her and her friends told me during lunch today

that I was a 'hottie'.

jeesh; being called a hottie and gay-bait in the same week. not bad for a soon-to-be 48yr old guy.

my face/body look to be early 30's,

my mind/soul late 80's.

(or so I've been told)

alright, that's about it as far as the shopping thing went,

they all got their gowns, a few cute outfits,

not that much cheap jewelrey stuff tho. and you know what?, they all had nearly half left on their cards AND they wanted to give them back to me. darlings. all of them. so, because they don't want their familys spending 'their' monies,

I am now responsible for 5 seperate accounts.

Ash is keeping her's I was so informed.

ok, just one more thing before I shower for this

date of mine tonite; I told you all I was going to be 'off-line' all w/e, which I have been; no emails, no twitter

(I am watching a few tho, I admit) no cell phone, and so on. so I took my 2nd cell with me (my super-secret one, that only 3-4 people in the world have this number) to shop. and when I get home, my other phone's vm's is full, the txt msg, twitter dm's are just crazy.. and as I'm listening to all these vm's,

1 is from mr hollywood producer guy (remember him?),

he want's to know if I'm still interested in 'negotiating'

to sell one of my scripts?

'well spank my ass, and say I'm the best!!!'

he said he was talking-up my ideas to an investment group and they seemed 'very' interested in one of my projects.

I don't believe him, he is a slimey cuss.

but I'll call him alright, next friday at 4:45p...

now, I'm sure my original readers remember that

'getting into the industry'

was the primary reason I started this web-site thing,

it just sort of evolved into my diary and bitch session area. but, I'll see what mr blow-hole has to say.

ya, he says he reads my site; so f'in what!

ok, the girls are just leaving w/grandma to go see the movie 'footlose', and I have to get beautified for this date-thing.

yes, she's smart, gorgous, we're friends and have been wanting to 'date' one another for quite awhile.

but my heart and mind will be else-where tonite.

I guess sometimes you just have to 'play' the hand that you are dealt, no matter what.

but between you and me, I'd just rather stay home tonite, pop some corn, pour a scotch, and go outside and dance naked under the moon...

(you think grandpa jack would call the cops on me?)

have a fantaz sunday everyone!!!

16 Oct 2011/3am

good morning kids. I was going to wait until 'later' in the morn to give you an update, but I'm wide awake and my laptop was still sitting here on my pillows from

my last update session.

before I begin, let me tell you a little bit about who my 'date' is/was; I've known this young lady for over 12 years,

she is the youngest sister of a very good friend

of mine in vegas. we met right in the middle of my 2nd marriage, and before I 'made it' on my own.

so she has seen my rollercoaster life as it actually happened;

and we were always friendly to each other.

but that was all... friendly. also, she was the very first person to contact me when she heard I had moved

away from my wife. so we do have a little bit of history there. ok then. so I arrive in malibu about 30min later than I had planned; knocked on her mom's door, she answers and says with an evil grin 'nice to see you could make it, I thought you had stood me up to eat popcorn, drink a scotch and dance naked under the moonlite.'

(see entry immediately on top of this one)

shit. I always have to remind myself that 'real' people read this site. ya, I'm embarrassed.

so we embrace, and she smells wonderful.

at that time her mom and step-dad all come over

and greet me,

I've known these people even longer.

everyone is laffing at me, not with me mind you,

cause my ass wasn't laffing. so I go inside, and lo-and-behold, they are having a party.

(I've heard of these before, but never an invite)

3 laptops on different parts of my site, and the goobers were taking notes. I always find it bizzare when I see people's computer on my site, it just looks different to me then.

so we all visited for about 30min, before me and ms pure left for dinner. I can't explain the feeling I was experiencing at the moment we were alone in my car driving down the road. I've known this girl forever it seemed and this was the very first time we had 'ever' been alone and single.

(she was once hitched also) so we end up going to this indian restarant that her parents recommended, oh my god; my cat's 'wet food' tastes better (don't ask). so we actually left the table with a ton of food unfinished, pay the bill and go hit a in-n-out drive thru. it was wonderful.

we go park along a state beach area on pch and just talked, talked for nearly 4 hours. we talked so long, we hit an ihop for the last part of our date. ya, I had 3 cups of coffee,

hence me sitting here at 2:47am typing away.

I enjoyed myself, I really did, she is such a sweet girl.

but, once again I'm the one saying 'no' to any possibility of a relationship. friendship; absolutely, but anything else? no.

I think she is good with that, I don't know tho; the look in her eyes as we said 'goodnight' was the look of disappointment. I'm probably one of the few men in the world that totally turned down a guaranteed 'romp in the hay' with an incredibly beautiful intelligent woman tonight.

I've had more than a few one-nighters in my life,

I didn't want her to be one of them.

she is going to be back on the 29th of the month for the

'kiss holloween party' though.

so who knows what will happen then. *I know your reading this and smiling right now, stop smiling!

if this date had happened a year ago, well;

the date would still be going on. it just seems like everything has changed for me, everything.

in fact, as I am typing this right now, I have tears running down my face, and I haven't a clue why?

christ, I'm a fucking mess!!!

time to go sit in my back area and/or walk around a bit

using the moonlight to see.

good nite/good morning... whatever.


ok, so what. I slept outside last night.

at least I did it by choice,

and not because I wanted to get away from a torid-alcoholic-she-beast with red eyes glowing.

as I said, I awoke this morning towards the back of the property, past the horse/barn, the fence line and near the west pond with the old rusted truck that is incorporated into the mini waterfall.

*some of you have seen pictures of my property,

so you'll know what I'm talking about.

for the others; I don't know what to tell ya.

as I woke, with the crisp morning dew just starting to frost the grass, the sun beams cresting along the horizon,

and to my amazement, 2 german shepherds, a bassett hound and 2 sibs all curled up and surrounding me like I was a bag of kibbles and bits.

I laid there and begun realize, this is my life.

this is what I have created for myself.

actually, let me share my thoughts here:

'this is my life, and no-one elses'.

we are all brought into this world as an infant,

not knowing where our meager existence will take us.

as we grow and learn from others, we grasp the knowledge that entertains our soul and expand that to hopefully one day survive on our own basic instincts.

to share one's own experience with another,

will hopefully make both of you better people.

you must lay in the dirt to realize that is what you will become one day.

you have to go without to know what food really taste like. and you need to open your heart and soul to love,

to cherish something that makes your life worth living for.

we all have loss in our lives, we all have made mistakes;

but it's how you deal with the recovery that determines the type of person you really are.

I share in the creation of a life,

another living creature who sometimes looks at me as if I am the only thing that matters in her world.

I am also responsible for 3 lives not being able

to ever be born, to be given a chance.

I regret nothing I've ever done,

but given the opportunity, may do things much differently

the 2nd time around.

I am just a simple man who has worked so ever hard for everything I've accomplished.

mistakes were made, feelings were hurt, relationships suffered; but this is what I am.

and I am a better person, a better man for it.

I will never ever 'just accept' ever again. I can't.

our time is limited, and the countdown begins

as soon as we are born.

most of us, nearly all of us will be nothing more than a distant memory once we've gone.

will anyone ever remember who I was,

what I was about or even my name.

and does it even really matter.


ya, I know pretty thick for a sunday morning, but I feel so much better getting that off my plate.

alright, I'm really tired right now, and am going to 'go to bed' and try to sleep a couple more hours before everyone comes over here for football today.

have a beautiful sunday everyone,

and thank you for being apart of my life.


ok, now it's a good morning. I slept hard for a couple hours, and now having my coffee before nfl sunday begins.

expecting approx 20-30 people,

mostly neighboors and such. but the palacios clan will be arriving directly after church.

so that will be an additional 10+ also.

plus, if I know grandma p., she'll be bringing way too much mexican food with the group. very cool.

thanks for the tweet/dm's, and text msg's concerning my last entry you guys. that means alot to me.

I'm fine, it's all good, just needed to 'exhale' is all...

oh, um... ms.pure... yes!!! today!!!

(for the partiers)


good evening all. I thought I would at least try to give an entry tonite before I crash. I am beyond so damn tired.

as I mentioned before, I had 'a few' people over for

some football today.

the early game on the fox network was the 49er-detroit game, and what a game it was... 9ers won. unbelievable.

by the time the game was nearing the final 2:00 minute warning, there was close to 60 people over here, and of course 'the godfather' was in-charge. it's actually very cool to have a 'gathering' and not have to do anything.

I also had a very special guest, ms. pure came over also.

she is only the 2nd woman to ever meet my daughter,

I'm still unsure on what the issues/bounderies are about that. and please ladies, don't send me any advice emails on kids/relationships; I've had a pretty stressful couple of days. besides, Ash and 'pure' only talked for a few minutes as all the girls (who stayed over again last night) were watching the entire twighlight movie saga in the basement movie room.

so after the 49ers stunning victory, 'pure' and I decided to go horseback riding for a while in the back hills area.

and that's all I've got to say about that.

we made it back to the house by dusk, and decided to go and pick-up some chinese take-out for everyone who was still at the house (20+ people). Ash, her grandparents,

and the gf's had just left for a pizza dinner at cici's.

so after the chinese food, a rather energized game of guitar hero (I suck); most of everyone had thinned-out. grandpa palacios and 4 of his family members are spending the night, as we are finishing up the posts out back tomorrow, and apparently there are some things the mexi-godfather saw today that may need attention.

I have no idea what.

as far as 'pure' goes, she is on her way back to vegas for her work week. and so, that was my day.

I have to say, that this was one of the strangest weekends I've had in a long, long time.

very emotional for a variety of reasons.

but, I'm still here and hopefully, a better man for it.

it's nearly 8:30p, and my daughter and I are going to take the pupz out for a walk and have some father/daughter time. oh, I have been getting some twitter dm's

from some of you about 'my birthday' plans;

because my b-day falls on thanksgiving this year,

and my daughter and I have never shared either, I will be staying home this year. but I appreciate the offers/ideas.

good nite all...


*just one more thing;

I just got done saying good-nite to my daughter, and as I was walking out her door and turned her lights off,

she says to me;

"daddy, I love you so much, thank-you for everything this weekend; and thank-you for being my dad."

I could barely say "I love you baby" back...

nothing else matters, nothing!!!

17 Oct 2011/7:30am

good morning.

I have been up for over 3 hours already today,

grandpa palacios is a beast of a boss.

we are finishing up the barn/stable area for the horses, painting the fence posts of the pasture, and stretching cyclone fence for the rear property line. yes, in the dark.

well, not exactly. I do have temporary lighting units I rented, and the barn/stable area is very well lit.

the reason we started so early is because;

1. the mex-godfather said we had to.

once the sun has risen,(as it has already done),

I was told we all will have different duties,

mine is replacing over 200 foot path stones throughout the property, and to shuttle the over grown vegetation that others will be cutting/trimming to the trash bins.

yes, as you know I am not that mechanically inclined,

so my responsibilities are limited as such. it's a funny thing; I don't think I could build a house (who the hell am I kidding, no way I could), but put me in front of 20,000 people and a subject matter I am well versed in, and I will be a rock star! I also was able to at one time fade a golf ball 185yds with a 7iron to within 10' of the hole (weather permitting); but alas, those days are behind me now.

I did learn how to stretch fencing this morning,

and how to operate the power trenching unit.

I had absolutely no idea that you should put fencing at least two feet deep into the ground.

your never too old to learn new things.

thank goodness for the old men who have come into my life; this prop would have just kicked my ass and financially ruined me. I am so pleased that both of the senior members get along so well. (old man palacios & grandpa jack)

alright, I normally don't eat this early, but because of my early morn duties and the smell of sausage, eggs and waffles in the kitchen is intoxicating,

I guess I will partake in the morning feasting.

happy monday everyone, and I'll be seeing you soon.


it's just past 9:30am, and I was just replaced

(more like fired) by the mexi-godfather. he called up more family members to come over today to help out,

and as I was pushing my wheelbarrow full of slate stepping stones to the gazebo area to replace the worn ones

(actually replacing all of them thru the entire prop)

these two hispanic young men come and take my barrow,

shovel away from me.

the godfather said I was doing a 'fine' job,

just these young men could do it 'much' faster.

also, a couple of the retired old men that were at my nfl gathering yesterday, are here now also. yep, I'm nothing but chopped liver when 'manuel' labor is involved.

(manuel: omg, that is so funny.. godfather is going to thump me for that slight pun)

alright, I do have other activities that need my attention, so I'll touch back later.


drama; (n) a series of real events invested with a

'dramatic' unity and interest.

I just thought I would start this update with the appropriate word that has been 'my life' the past couple of days.

so listen up, I'm going to just type this 'off the cuff' and may come back later to edit, correct spelling or whatever;

as I was just informed by the mexi-godfather that I am having another nfl party/gathering for mnf tonite with about the same amount of people as yesterday,

that's just great. (sarcasism)

alright, let me jump right in; apparently the event of last friday afternoon with mr lettermans jacket was not as finished as I thought it was.

just as I was passing out sandwiches to all my property workers (palacios family), my cell rings and the caller id shows it's my daughters school,

so of course I immediately answer.

it is the vice-principal from her school asking me if I could come-in to talk with the principal, captain of the school district police department and the parents of the young man that was involved in the incident of friday past.

I say absolutely, hang-up; utter 'fuck-me'! as loud as could be heard throughout the entire valley, and proceed to get dressed appropriately for a 'official' school visit.

now let me just say this for all my 'ladies' out there;

I do clean-up, very, very well.

so, the entire time I'm in the shower, trimming my 10day shadow look that I am now famous for, etc;

I have the mexi-godfather and grandpa jack in my bathroom area trying to convince me to have them 'come along' for nothing else but moral support.

I say 'much appreciated' but I am a 'big boy' now, and I have to get used to doing these things 'myself'.

so, I'm suit/tie; driving the sedan and ready for anything.

I am met on the school grounds upon arrival by a school police officer, and we proceed to the administration offices. as soon as we walk in the main office I knew something was going on; all five boys were sitting in the lobby area, and mr lettermans jacket was flanked by his parents.

so I am graciously met by the school's principal, vice, the captain, and an administrator.

we all have a seat in the conference room, and immediately, the principal wants 'my version' of what exactly happend that afternoon. so, (as I wrote it here), I told them.

'my version' of the truth took about all of

3 minutes to explain.

as I finished, I was looking directly at the principal and the look on his face was that of a bewildered man.

the 'captain' immediately asked the question of the decade; 'what about the fight?'

the look on my face must have answered for me before I could even speak. because as I was 'trying' to form the words; 'what fight', the vice-principal interrupted me by saying; 'we thought so', but we wanted your version before we completed our investigation.

so, apparently, these 5 young football studz,

were going around all weekend,

and today at school telling people they beat the shit out of a girl's former marine corps dad.

well, ain't that special.

now I will admit to you all, that yes, I have had the crap beat outa me twice in my life, once in 6th grade

(because of a girl) and once in the marines during hand to hand combat training.

(give me a break, I was only 20, and this guy was 27,

an ex-boxer and one tuff mother-fucker, I did break his arm tho, but my face looked like a used sponge;

I did finish 2nd in the competition.)

now saying I was in shock is a understatement.

so at that time, the 'captain' goes and gets mr lettermans jacket and his parents.

as they walked into the conf-room I could see the kid was beyond scared-shitless to say the least.

his father, on the hand was an arrogant 'asshat'

(this wonderfully descripted 'noun' is borrowed from a friend of mine). mr lettermans jacket's father is an attourney here in the LA area, and he plays the part well. just so you know, I'm not that big of a 'lawyer-fan',

most I've met in my life are nothing more than a glorified used car salesman who manage to slide their way thru law school. but, I have met a few that are 'the shit', especially ms. tnt, summer '07. yes, I'm guilty your honor. ha. ok, so I have to listen to mr blow-hard now telling the congregation that I threatened his son with bodily harm, and that is the reason his p.o.s. son made up the story. what the fuck? that's the best you can do counselor?

well, needless to say nobody bought it, the boys all had to appologize to me, a write-up in their school file, and a 1 game suspension from the football team.

a couple of these young men have 'troubled pasts' and have been skirting some serious offenses.

alright, I then am given a nice little tour by the principal and 'captain' (former marine) before the end of day school bell is given. as the bell sounded, we were all standing outside Ash' 6th period class, and when she came out into the halls, I think my poor little girl thought she was in trouble.

ie: me in a suit/tie, the principal, captain.

so we walk to the car, and she is surprised by the story I am telling her, as she never heard nothing about it.

so, we hit the drive-thru for a shake on the way home,

and boom, end of story. crap it's nearly, 4:15p, and I have to get some things at the store for tonite. we'll talk later...


*oh my, you guys are ruthless... #follow-up to above entry: I'm in the grocery store getting chips, dips, whips (for you stacey-freak), and I get 14 twitter dm's asking me how they knew it was me the boy's were talking about if they didn't mention Ash' name? actually, I can't really recall if they (the boys) had mentioned her name. but how they knew it was me 'for sure' was because my daughter's guidence counselor (ya, that one), saw the boys walking with the group of girls after school that day.

and she remember's me being prior corps.

so, there you go mama jama!!!

people begining to arrive for this party that I have

yet been invited to.


ok, I'm going to call it a night, remember the crazy mexi-godfather had my lazy ass up at 4am for the working detail. they are all going to stay a couple more days and finish up some tasks. there are 7 now, shit their multiplying.

as for me tomorrow; I will be on a few conference calls in the morn after taking the boss-lady to school;

and having lunch in laguna beach with a friend.

hope you had a great monday my friends, talk soon.

18 Oct 2011/3am

it is with a heavy heart this morning that I report the passing of my eldest dog; Vegas Queen 'Chloe' Kiss.

she started having siezures in my bed about 3

hours ago waking me up. I knew exactly what was going on (stroke), as this is what happened to her twin brother 'coley' back in may.

I called grandpa jack from downstairs to join me,

to help with the control of the other dogs; as a siberian husky is dying, or is hurt. etc., the rest of 'the pack' gets very defensive of their member who is in distress,

and I knew this would be worst than what I went thru with coley. coley was once the 'alpha' dog but was replaced by albert john (a.j.) some years back.

but chloe was the true 'alpha female', and the rest of my dogs treated her as such; she ate first, first to be hooked onto the leash, first to be given attention; it was understood.

and now, with 'my chloe' having these massive siezures,

the other dogs (who all sleep with me, except for a.j., who now sleeps in front of Ash' door and also walks the entire house thru the night) were starting to get restless and growling, howling, talking (their communication device).

jack was up here in my room, with grandma, within a minute

and pops palacios was 10 seconds behind.

then all hell broke loose;

rustin and elles just started to kick the shit outa

one of the shepherds,

beverly the bassett got stepped on.

it was a god damn mess.

the whole time this was happening, I held on to chloe as tight as I could, trying to protect her from the ensuing melee that was begining to occur. within moments, the old men had all the sibs on leash, both germans had taken a defensive stand to protect me; and then my daughter rushes in my room after hearing the commotion of yelling, dogs barking/talking/fighting; she had thought something was wrong with me. and then the entire situation esculated,

as Ash came in, so did 'the bruin' a.j.,

then it got a little uncontrollable. a.j. was running full hilt jumping on my bed, seeing chloe in distress,

and immediately took on both german shepherds

(these 3 are inseperable at all times, buddies)

as my hands were full, Ash leterally picked up a.j. (120pds) and thru him towards my sitting room away from the fight. then the godfather was back and grabbed the germans behind the neck leading them out my outside entrance. then Ash went to a.j. giving him a hug to stop him from coming back on my bed.

now mind you, once this all started, it was over in less than a minute. everyone involved was quick to assist. so it was just me, chloe on my now coverless bed; and Ash about 10 feet away on the floor hanging on to a.j. has he was 'talking' and growling trying to get to chloe.

chloe was having a massive seizure, and I could barely hang-on so I loosened my grasp. at that moment, she stopped shaking, openned her eyes, give a slight whimper, licked my face twice and died in my arms.

I began to cry (I'm crying now), Ash cryed with me;

a.j. started howling which in turn had 'all' the dogs going.

it was a madhouse here at casa kiss,

the time was 12:09am.

after she passed and my daughter and I regained are composue somewhat; the mexi-godfather came back into my room and hooked a.j. to a leash and left my daughter and I alone with the now lifeless shell of my once

vibrant little girl.

as Ash and I sat there on my bed,

both holding 'our' departed love one,

I began telling her stories of chloe's past:

the time when her and coley were brand new puppies,

and got loose from me in petco, running thru the store causing havoc. my 1st thanksgiving with my then girlfriend and her daughter (who later became my wife), and as we sat down to eat, and hearing a commotion in the kitchen, seeing coley and chloe 'on the counter top' destroying my just carved turkey. or just a couple years back when I was very sick with strep, and this dog laid with me in bed, not getting up unless I did, and was very protective of me when neighboors came over to check on me. it's only been a few hours since my dog has died, but I miss her ever so much.

I am outside at my favorite spot as I type this up.

my house is totally awake,

it seems as if every light is on inside.

my daughter has come outside twice to check on me as I have been typing this up, we hug and I tell her to go back to bed, but she doesn't.

she has school in about 5 hours,

she can stay home if she wants to today.

my day is professionally busy this morning

with conf-calls I cannot postpone,

my lunch in laguna beach may be rescheduled

(great story concerning this),

but then again, I may 'really need' this lunch. really need. currently, chloe is laying in my bath tub with her 2 favorite toys; a nearly bald tennis ball and a squeaker.

and the blanket she laid on downstairs covers her.

she will be cremated with these items this morning just as soon as the vet opens at 7a.

the vet's office was called just a short time ago to notify of this, and they returned the call to express their sorrow and to make the arrangements.

yes, this vet will have my business forever.

I am going to wrap this entry up now.

it appears we have coffee, muffins and other goodies for consumption being readied in the house by my daughter and her grandmother for the 11 of us who are here.

everyone here has been out to see me to check on me,

these people are my family now. every single dog is laying outside surrounding me. a;j' is on edge, the germans are looking towards the back of the property as if someone is watching us. it's dark out there, black dark.

I can barely see the outline of the barn struture.

I've been sitting in complete darkness this whole time;

with the only light coming from this screen and the glowing keys. I've just noticed I'm not wearing my glasses.

someone who does not have pets will 'not' relate to this entry, they wouldn't know the feeling of loss when a creature you have nutured for it's entire life has now passed on.

this dog was with me for over 25% of my life; 4,400+ days.

that's a long time.

I love you Queen Chloe, and I always will.


oh my goodness.

it has only been 4-5 hours since I have posted the passing of my pup, and the response has been to say the least, overwhelming.

I have just returned from taking her to the vet for proper care, and came back to a deluge of outpouring emails, txts, twitter dm's, and even some vm's.

I'm so appreciative to all of you, most I do not know or will ever meet. this is the best I could have ever hoped for or even 'wished for' to ease the pain.

omg. my daughter (who is staying home today) is currently sitting next to me with her laptop, reading emails that you all have sent me, and as she reads, other emails keep rolling in. current count of 'new' emails for today is '2768'.

I love you guys.

my kid just informed me that if I am going to have her 'assist me' with emails and such today, and I 'kept' her home from school (ya, I did) I should compensate her for her time.

wtf is that all about?

I reminded her about the 'shopping' experience I gave to her and her friends last saturday;

and was so told that I did that because she is my daughter and I love her and her friends.

ok then.

I replied by saying do this for me today because I'm your dad, and you love me!

she looked at me with those beautiful baby blues that so remind me of my own, and said in a very business like voice while she stared straight away into her laptop screen;

''daddy, this isn't personal, this is business.

if you want me to do your job for you, I will need a 'little extra' in my friday allowance.''

I took the hook, how much more I ask?

"$15. an hour for 8-10 hours, including two 15min breaks,

and 45min for lunch paid"

and while she said this, looking at me with that 'hungry look'. her grandfather; my dad, gary 'the kiss-monster' kiss would have been so proud!

I agreed to her demand,

but told her she is on the clock and just can't get up every ten minutes to do 'stuff'. she agreed, so our verbal commitment is sealed 'with a kiss & a hug'. (after all, she 'is' my daughter; and more like me than I could have ever immagined)

alright, I have to mind-set myself, and get ready for these calls by 8:30am. and have still not decided on whether or not I am keeping my 'lunch date'

(excellent story could be forth coming)

ok my friends, I've gotta go. thank you all for your kind words, and funny pet stories. talk soon.

31 Oct 2011/8pm

Happy Holloween...

g. a. kiss