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'my thoughts.1.2'

(04 Jan 2013 - 08 Jan 2013)

completed: 08 Jan 2013/9pm

*a place to say what's on my mind,

and in my heart...

04 Jan 2013/10am

been up since 5am, getting back into the swing of things around here at casa-kiss.

the girls were also up early and are already 'out the door'. not exactly sure if it's boys, shopping,

or just getting away from me.

I did not score many points last night with either of them when I refused to allow their 'late night callers' to come inside for 'just a minute' for a visit.

but seriously, 10pm is a little late for a casual 'drop-in'.

I mean was I wrong about that?

no matter, they'll get over it soon enough.

so I'm going to begin my errands here shortly,

and then I'm thinking of seeing a movie in

the mid-afternoon.

**l.g. 'just' called, and wants me to meet her for lunch

so we can 'talk'. oh joy, another 'lifeless discussion'.

I told her that it wasn't possible today,

but maybe sometime next week when the kids are back in school, and I don't have so much to do.

and of course I'm 'the bad guy' for not making time for her. shit. why do I get the feeling'things' are starting to unravel slowly around me.

jeesh. I never knew that by going on a short trip during the holidays would cause so much turmoil

with people in my life.

sorry that I can't make everyone happy.

on that note, I'm done. see ya guys later.

05 Jan 2013/12;30am

I just got home, and I'm very tired.

I'll update tomorrow. good night everyone.


once again, I just walked in the door;

slept-in til 9am,

went to the ucla basketball game,

movie & early dinner w/a friend,

followered her home (Newbury Park),

stopped for a piece of pie and coffee afterwards,

came home.

girls are staying overnight at a friend's house,

grandpa jack is in his room,

and I'm going to shower, watch sportscenter,

and then go to bed.

good night & sweet dreams to all...

06 Jan 2013/noon

good afternoon.

been laying around and just doing absolutely

nothing all morning. seriously.

and you know what, I liked it!!!

I did take care of my morning chores,

and fix 'boxed' mac & cheese w/tuna for lunch.

but as far as doing anything with 'substance', nada!

I'm 'thinking' of 'possibly' going to west hollywood and

pick-up l.g. for a drive or 'whatever', but as I stated,

I'm just 'thinking about it.'

jessica will be arriving by tuesday,

and staying here for a while.

apparently her reconciliation didn't work-out as

she had planned.

no worries. I've missed her and looking forward to

seeing her again, as is Ash.

this coming week has a few 'wrinkles' that need to be ironed-out before I can continue to organize my schedule.

anyway. I guess I should 'play the part' of

'part-time boyfriend' and go see l.g.

question: shouldn't one be excited to go see the person he/she cares about and enjoys 'one on one' contact with?

ya. that's what I thought!

ok. I have to get cleaned-up. see ya later.


good evening all.

I went ahead and went to visit l.g. earlier this afternoon.

we had a fairly pleasant visit,

even going to a park and enjoying adult conversation without the interruption of nosey children.

we left our pow-wow with a few unresolved topics,

but did decide we would continue our 'relationship'.

this decision won't be 'celebrated' by everyone.

namely her 18yr old.

and you know what?,

I really don't give a shit about his opinion any longer.

you try to be nice to some people, and all they do is fuck-you-up the ass the first chance they get.

I have no respect for individuals who are as 'two-faced'

as your standard politician.

nice to your face,

and the moment you turn around they are throwing degrading comments about you

behind your back.

these are the type of worthless 'air-breathers' that deserve a crowbar shoved up their ass and then out their pee hole. sometimes when you want something done,

it's best just to do it yourself.

been there, done that!

anyway, onward with a more pleasant dialog;

after our discussions, holding hands while walking around,

and some light tongueless kissing,

we decided to grab a late dinner at the fake chinese place (aka: panda express) and drink some cheap wine.

I then decided it was time to come back home.

so. basically that was my day in a nutshell.

and how was your sunday?

Ash and Elli are both in bed, eager for school tomorrow. (don't figure...)

and grandpa jack is outside right now have a drink of some sort and listening to his ipod that he got for christmas that is loaded with every jazz song ever performed.

alright. I'm going to get ready for bed now. see ya later...

07 Jan 2013/10am

happy monday to all of you.

been up since 5am doing my dailies,

and have already gone to the feed store to pick-up

the necessities.

have just started laundry, and will be taking the kidz to the groomer as soon as our 'house-assistants' arrive'.

now that the 'holidays/vacations' are over,

its' time to get back-on the regimated schedule that had just been intro'd directly before the week of thanksgiving. having someone come in and help-out w/the vacuuming/dusting/mopping on the first floor

really helps-out alot.

which means I can concentrate on other things,

like getting these stories of mine completed into book form. plus, grandpa jack and I are going to 'lunge' the horses this afternoon since the weather today will be accommodating.

anyway. I'll be back later.

08 Jan 2013/1am

good 'early' morning.

spent the evening at a neighbors house watching the 'national championship' game won by 'bama.

wasn't really much of a game after

the initial 'kick-off' though.

so instead of being bored, the host began telling us stories about his knowledge of the new york/jersey mafioso

during the 60's/70's/80's.

I'll tell ya, there was some crazy shit going on back east during that time frame.

maybe we should bring back the mob to run this country, they would take care of this 'gun control' shit.

an eye for an eye.

anyway. I'm up late tonight just because I cant' sleep.

have a ton-of-shit on my mind.

sometimes I really enjoy 'not' having a significant other'

around to cloud-up the day,

(don't judge me, opinion is based on experience)

other times such as this very moment,

it kinda sucks 'not' having a person to share your thoughts/worries/dreams with.

and I don't want to 'bleed all over' this blackened page with my concerns and opinions that derive from a certain subject that I have yet to discuss on these pages.

there are certain aspects of my life I would rather

not be judged-on.

especially by people who have never met me face to face. sometimes I tire of the added responsibility I

have created for myself;

coming back to this speck of dust to pound out these keys to possibly entertain a few 'unkowns' that just happened to discover an egotistical former male-whore who has decided to share his daily routines to anybody who

desires to read them.

jeesh. talk about having 'a fucking moment'.

I can only imagine what a few of you are saying/thinking right now; 'this guy is a crazy-ass-fuck!!!'

and you know what? you'd be right...

I'm very tired, have a pounding headache,

and really just want to sleep.

good nite...


good afternoon.

after I got a few hours of sleep,

I spent the early part of the morning going thru some snake traps that grandpa jack and I bought/set yesterday.

all empty.

if it was my decision on how to rid the rear of the property of these disgusting slithering fucking creatures,

I'd purchase a dozen mongoose and let

them have free-reign.

but jack wanted to go the 'humaine way'.

I hate snakes, HATE 'em.

anyway. after checking the 8 traps w/'mr outback',

I took the kidz to the dog-park and watched them play among themselves while I ate a pb&j sandwich

for breakfast.

*I'd would have rather had a few 'sausage croissants from burger king',

but have decided that I need to start eating 'more healthy' when dining alone.

not being in my 20's/30's any longer,

I guess it's time I begin to take care of myself a little better. I'm not big on the 'norm' of making the habit of

'new years resolutions' like alot of people do;

but considering the fact I will be celebrating my

'50th' in approx 320 days

(a birthday my own father never lived to enjoy),

I'd like to celebrate for the 'both of us'.

also my weekly 'workout-regime' needs to be re-booted.

not that I'm gaining weight,

but I have lost a significant amount of muscle-tone. having your own work-out room and not using it

is a pure travesty,

as others spend lots of money monthly to use the type of equipment that I currently have just sitting idle and collecting dust.

and it also shows my lack of commitment to maintain the physical attributes I have always worked hard to

sustain my entire adult life.

even when I was married I never let myself go as I have

done these past few years.

I'm sure my 'body's shortage of testosterone' may have contributed to the demise of my normal work-out routine. but now that I'm on these bi-monthly injections,

I'm 'feeling' as if I need to 'release' some stored-up 'vigor'

I have begun to experience.

a 'slight' drawback to these shots I now receive

every other week;

is that within 48hrs the 'urge' of a 18yr old returns with a 'hardened' vengeance,

and unless I am in the company of a willing particiiant,

I must 'handle' the situation myself.

oh how I miss the availability of eager females that

working at 'harrah's reno' had to offer during

the late 80's/early 90's.

maybe that's where my natural balance

of 'steroid hormones' depleted itself. ya, I can see that.

ok then. I've got some things I need to get done before the girls get home from school.

I'll 'talk' to you guys later.


early night for me.

within the last few hours I haven't felt too well,

and am starting to get really tired.

so I am going to call it a day.

besides being entertained by the girls when they

got home from school

(who broke-up w/whom, who cheated, who is who's new love interest, etc, etc, etc...),

not much else happened around here.

dinner tonite was;

'fix-it yourself, and clean-up your mess'.

I had the same thing for dinner as I did for lunch;

a bowl of honey-nut-cherrios w/sliced banana.

Ash had celery w/peanut butter,

and split a can of spinach with Elli,

who also had some mac/cheese left-overs.

grandpa jack had a few drinks and not sure what else.

so thats it for me. really not feeling well at all.

good night...

to be continued on 'my thoughts.1.3'