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'my thoughts.2.6'

(23 Feb 2013 - 28 Feb 2013)

completed: 28 Feb 2013/11pm

*a place to say what's on my mind,

and in my heart...

23 Feb 2013/7am

good morning.

apparently N.J. didn't think I was serious when I told her we were going back to vegas this morning.

she knows now.

so while she is getting her things together,

I thought I would at least say 'hi'.

I was hoping to be on the road earlier than this,

as I may just do a 'turn-around' and just drop her off and come straight back home.

I was going to contact my realtor and tell her I'm in town, but I am not in the mood for her bs.

I betting N.J. is going to want to eat breakfast before we go, and then who knows what she'll think of to try to delay

our trip this morning. aaarrrgghh!!!

anyway. the girls got home last night a few minutes before midnight, and we were up til almost 1am talking.

they went out to dinner to panera bread,

and then saw the movie 'dark skies'.

*they both like the mysterious, suspensful, scary flicks.

I'm so glad they like to 'double-date', gives me a little more secure feeling having them together.

they both again have plans today with the same guys,

so I'm guessing they like these dudes.

note: I have yet to meet these two young men,

but that's going to happen... soon. very, very soon.

ok. N.J. just came into the kitchen w/a little bit of an attitude saying she's not understanding why she

has to leave today. I've gotta go.

I see this day is going to be a winner already.


with the hectic morning I was experiencing,

apparently I had forgotten to publish the above entry.

so as you just read,

I decided to handle this awkward situation myself.

we left the house around 7:30am (under protest by N.J.), had breakfast at iHop in victorville,

and made it here to vegas just past noon.

I tried to talk w/her during the first hour or so of our drive, but she was pouting, and ignored me.

I really don't need this shit anymore.

*she did say 'thank-you' for buying her breakfast though. anyway. I dropped her off at her retirement building,

gave her some money and a hug, and then left.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do now.

currently I'm sitting here in a mcdonalds having a coffee and a apple pie, using their free wi-fi.

let me say this to you guys,

I really feel like shit.

not just because I had to basically treat N.J. like a 5yr old, but also because she totally embarrassed me with

her actions toward grandma palacios and

one of her grand-daughters.

yes N.J. is very important to me and I do feel somewhat responsible for her because her 3 children

(including my ex-wife)

have totally abandoned her altogether.

*I really have 'no comment' about her kids actions,

as I have also 'abolished' my own mother.

but my relationship with the entire palacios family is very important to me also,

and I refuse to let ANYONE cause any kind of negativity to interfere with that relationship.

I don't care who you are;

how rich or not, the color of your skin,

the nationality of your family,

or how you came to live here in the states.

we are all human beings;

we have hearts, souls, feelings, and strong beliefs.

and every single one of us will die once our

bodies have given up.

we have such a short amount of time to enjoy our lives among one another,

why do things to wreck the possibility of enjoying each others company the entire time.

I'm just as guilty as everyone else showing hatred towards others, but at least I admit my shortcomings.

fuck this shit. I'm going to get outa here.

I've got a severe caffeine buzz right now,

and l.g. has called numerous times during the writing of this past entry, so I need to call her back.

plus, the noise level here at mc-d land has increased significantly throughout my petty rant.

I guess I'm going to stay the night here in 'sin city', checking-in to a hotel within the hour.

I'll chose a 'locals casino' rather than a

strip/downtown one.

but won't be staying where I know alot of the emps,

as I'm really not in the mood to be social tonight.

I'll be back in a while, after I check-in to a room,

have a few beers, and even maybe take a nap.

happy saturday everyone...


well shit.

so much for 'trying' to remain incognito while in

las vegas for the night.

I keep forgetting that certain peeps read this site daily and also keep tabs on my twitter feed.

so with that being said,

I received a call from ms realtor this afternoon and we met at the house for a bit,

then went over to her house for 'happy hour'.

and now I'm back at my room to 'freshen-up',

as in about an hour we're going to 'meet-up' for dinner

at a 'strip casino'.

*I love it when a woman buys me dinner.

anyway. I'm going to post some night pics of vegas on my twitter tonight, so take a look see.

not sure if 'the strip' is going to be crowded tonight or not.

I have no idea what 'functions' are in town this w/e.

I really did just want to relax in a hot bath tonite, alone.

but my mind was persuaded for me. lol

ok then. I've gotta shower, I'll be back later on tonight.

have a safe saturday night everyone.

24 Feb 2013/1am

sometimes life just 'shows-up' and slaps your ass!!!

anyway. had a very entertaining night.

after I showered, I went back to pick-up ms realtor for dinner and she had had chinese food delivered.

so we just stayed-in.

after dinner, a few bottles of wine and a movie,

we went for a drive around the city including the strip.

she showed me a few of 'her properties' and also introduced me to her sister and her husband.

we actually stopped at her sister's house for a drink,

and then once it was dark we drove to 'the strip' to take

a few pictures.

I'd planned on walking around taking pictures of the different casinos including the 'bellagio fountains',

but it was freezing outside.

*not exactly 'freezing',

but it was cold and extremely windy.

so I just took pics while ms realtor drove us.

the 'las vegas sign' was crowded with tourists, stretch limos, and even a few of 'metro's finest'. (cops)

of course driving the 'las vegas strip' on a saturday night entailed dealing with the ass-wad 'taxi drivers',

and the lookie-loo's tourists.

I'm not really going to 'slam' the visitors,

as I can still remember back in the 80's when I first started coming to 'sin city',

I was also one of those lookie-loo's.

and considering there is 10-times the amount of lighted buildings to gawk at now,

I don't think the drivers can help driving like shit.

as soon as we finished 'playing tourist',

ms realtor took me back to her house so I could

get my car and then I came back to my hotel.

and now your all caught-up.

not sure what time I'm leaving tomorrow,

I may have lunch w/'ms r' before I leave.

but I'll play it by ear.

ok then. I'm really fukin tired, so I'm going to crash.

see you guys later this morning.


good morning.

I just got out of bed 30min ago.

I'd been awake for almost an hour,

but my bed was so damn warm and comfortable

I just 'couldn't' get up.

I called down to 'room service' for coffee when I first awoke, and it must have taken nearly 45min to get it.

AND, it's not that good at all.

reminds me of stagnate water w/coffee flavoring.

*not that I know 'exactly' what that would taste like.

no worries. ms realtor is on her way over w/starbucks.

I'm not sure when I became a 'coffee snob',

but I guess I am.

anyway. I'll be checking-out within the hour,

then heading over to ms realtor's house to watch the

usc-ucla basketball game at 12:30p

and have something to eat.

I'll be leaving after the game,

and try to get home before the academy awards

are over.

(I am taping them, but live is always better)

ok. I guess I should brush my teeth, and maybe do a

quickie-shower before 'ms r' gets back.

see you guys later...


I may not be leaving before the start of

'the oscars' this evenning.

I was just informed that I may be held hostage until

after the end of the broadcast.

so if your reading this, please send;

a bottle of 'jose cuervo',

12pk 'coors light' beer,

box of 'chicken in a biskit',

any 'cracker barrel' cheese,

and a roll of 'gallo hard salami'.

(oh. and $4.77 for my ransom)

I'll be back after the ucla basketball game...


just enjoyed watching ucla basketball fuck the

University of Snobbish Cocksuckers in their asses

in their own house.

Fuck USC. I hate dealing w/anyone w/ties to this school. why they think they are so much superior than everyone else is beyond belief.

anyway. I am indeed staying here at 'ms r's' to enjoy

the academy awards.

and after the show, I'll probably take a bit of a nap and then head-out back home.

I got some 'flack' earlier today via 'cell-text' about

'hanging-out' and enjoying myself w/younger women.

or as she has called them in the past;

"stupid, immature, little whores".

todays text:

"Not sure what you are going to do when the young ones don't want you, though - just a thought. You may be old and alone"

which kind of pissed-me-off;

cause this is a woman who just turned '50' a few weeks ago, never been married, never had any kids,

and is currently 'trying' to have a long-distance-relationship w/someone 8yrs her junior.

*sounds like 'sour grapes to me' ms east coast!!!


yes I love younger women.

they're more energetic, more fun,

willing to adapt outside their safety-zone,

more fashionable, better shape,

sexually energized,

round butts, rock hard thighs,

and their perky little tits aren't touching the floor.

so ya; I'll keep bangin' away,

as long as they keep bangin' back.

as far as being alone?,

that's what family & friends are for!!!

and yes... I'ma drunk.

so with that being said,

I'm going to go enjoy my hostess' excellent company.

I'll check-in some other time...


well, another academy awards... done.

so what did you guys think of the show?

I thought 'seth' to be a bit too dry with his delivery

and almost boring, material wise.

*but what the fuck do I know!

anyway, my 'real oscar buzz' has almost fizzled-out.

and I am getting ready to lay down and sleep a few hours before driving back home.

I figure if I leave by 5am

and stop for breakfast along the way,

I'll miss the early traffic here in the vegas/henderson area, and then get into socal after the morning commute.

I want to thank those of you who thru me a 'shout-out' this afternoon/evening after reading my last entry.

I may have been a 'little' harsh w/my comments

to ms east coast about her words to me about relationships, but I was really pissed.

and yes I am enjoying myself,

and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

*if l.g. doesn't have a problem w/me having friends,

then neither should any of you.

besides, I'm not married... yet!!!

ok. I'm going to go to sleep,

I'll see you guys tomorrow after I get home.

26 Feb 2013/10am

good morning.

"I slept like a guy who is 272days away from

his 50th birthday".

that's the greeting I got from grandpa Jack a few hours ago.

*whatever the hell that's supposed to mean.

anyway. I did have a wonderful nights sleep.

only woke-up twice;

the first because of a 'disturbance-in-the-force',

ie: the kidz were bickering among themselves at 3am-ish.

the second was the normal 'early morning' bladder thing. slept-in until almost 7am. awesome.

I've completed poop-patrol,

drank coffee, made omelets, watched sportscenter,

and even answered a few of your emails.

now I'm waiting for Jess to finish getting ready,

and then we are going to take a drive to a travel agency

and look at 'all options available' for spring break.

hawaii may not be 'do-able' after all;

as a few members of the 'kiss-corps' are a little

uneasy about flying 'in general',

let alone over the pacific ocean for 5hrs.

not really sure what we're going to do now.

hopefully this woman Jess has been talking with

these last few weeks will have a few ideas for

us to choose from.

*I really want to take the mexi-godfather/godmother

with us wherever we end up going.

alrighty, she's ready now. we'll talk later.


just took my second shower of the day,

and I thought I would 'update' while letting my bod air dry.

*actually, I take hot damn showers and I like to sit here in my recliner for 10-15min while I'm 'cooling-off'.

but saying 'letting my bod air dry' sounds better.

had a very informative visit w/the travel agent this morning, but she appeared annoyed when she learned that we were not going to be going to hawaii as we had originally contacted her about.

and her response to the few not wanting to fly over water;

"well just leave them at home" remark was not amusing.

but she did come up with a few suggestions that we will be discussing as a family tonight.

(the palacios', l.g., and her kids will be asked later)

so anyway. after our 'vacation fantasies' were reimagined, Jessica and I decided to have lunch at

a nearby 'claim jumpers'.

we ordered/shared a few appitizers:

spinach/artichoke dip & chips, calamari, cheese sticks, potato skins, chicken wings, and stuffed jalapenos.

and then we also had iced teas,

and that is where I happen to 'fuck-up'.

I had our server bring a pitcher of tea for the table,

and as I was passing Jess a plate while

we were eating, 'sploosh'.

I knocked the pitcher of tea on my lap/crotch area.

it takes ALOT to embarrass me, that worked just fine.

so we finished our lunch with me covered

w/towels on my lap.

and then came straight home.

hence, the second shower of the day.

not exactly sure when I'm supposed to meet up with my

'play date' tonite, so I need to find out .

I'll be back...


good evening.

going to the play tonight was a bust.

my 'play-date' turned out to be a huge flake.

so I decided to cook dinner instead;

ms paul's fish sticks, cheddar mash,

cut-green beans w/fresh bacon bits, and english muffins.

very good, I have to say.

even though it was a 'boxed-dinner'.

I'm thinking of making a crock-pot stew tomorrow,

with scratch doughy drops.

and if I'm so inclined,

I'll even bake some choco-chip cookies.

ya. I'm feeling my 'domestic-side' a little tonite.

besides, the mexi-godfather/godmother will be here for dinner to discuss vaca, and then we're going to pauley to watch the bruins try to close out a winning season.

only two more games at home this year,

would be nice if they could win them both.

*I'm not going to hold my breath though.

as soon as I post this, I need to 'tuck the girls in,

and take the kidz for a quickie down the street.

then I'm going to go thru emails and go to bed.

I am still kinda beat.

so I guess I'll call it a night.

good night beautiful, sweet dreams.

28 Feb 2013/midnight

good evening/morning, whatever you desire.

a totally crazy-ass day is finally over.

I've been running around the entire day, the entire day.

it started with a dead battery in Ash' car.

so after I took them to school,

I just bought a new battery vice recharging the old one.

at which point, Jess and I dropped off her 'edge',

and then we went to the grocery to pick up fresh veggies

for tonights stew. among other things.

since I didn't get the stew ready for cooking until almost 11a, I lightly braised the beef and lamb,

and then cooked the veggies/broth seperately in a pot

on the stove before combining everything

in the crock pots around 1p.

the stew 'crocked' for almost 5hrs,and it was fantastic.

also made 'doughy drops'

(lightly baked biscuits w/fresh garlic butter)

and had a fresh fruit salad w/sour cream as an add-on.

the mexi-grandfather/godmother were guests for dinner, and all of us discussed a few options for

our upcoming vacation.

*I'll fill you guys in about this subject later.

after dinner, the 7 of us went to pauley and enjoyed a

over-time victory by the ucla basketball team.

getting the 5 of us back home about 30min ago.

*even though I asked the palacios' to spend the night,

they decided to go back to west covina.

that's basically my day in a nut shell.

I'd rather not get into the dozen or so 'discussions'

I had w/l.g. today about a wide variety of topics.

and yes, she cancelled coming over for dinner also.

fuck it. that may have been the 'last straw'.

I almost feel as if I have wasted almost an entire year of my life having relations with this woman.

maybe my current mind set of having

'a wife for a night' isn't such a bad thought/action.

anyway. that was my day.

now, I'm rather tired, and I may for-go my normal morning routine and sleep-in,

just letting everything 'happen' as it may.

whatever. good night.


for the first time in over a year;

I got up at 6am did my morning chores,

and then went back to bed at 7a

after fixing the girls french toast for breakfast.

I slept until 10am.

I could not believe I did that. it was wonderful.

the only problem I have with getting up that late is;

I feel like I've wasted half the day.

so I decided to get up and load the kidz into the suv

and go to the dog park,

taking a thermos of coffee along of course.

we stayed there just over an hour,

then hit the arby's drive thru for lunch.

the kidz got a 'regular roast beef' each,

and I brought home sandwiches for all of us.

grandpa Jack had 2 'beef/cheddars',

Jessica 1 'turkey/bacon sandwich',

and I had a 'mid-roast beef' and a 'french dip'.

I love Arby's!

*not as much as the kidz though.

after lunch, and breaking-up a few skirmishes

among the siberians,

I decided to hit this site's inbox pretty hard and clean-up alot old emails (from before the holidays),

and even answered quite a few.

so if you wrote me in the last 90days and you didn't

get a reply today; I'm sorry.

I can answer only so many.

also, I did try to look at every pic/video,

and attachment you guys have sent me.

*unless it went directly into my spammy box,

I don't even look at the sending addresses in spam.

so anyway.

I am going out to dinner tonight w/l.g. to have a convo concerning our relationship status.

apparently she read my entry about 'us' above and

doesn't agree w/what I posted.

and this time she's coming to my 'neck of the woods'

to eat instead of me going to hers.

should be an interesting talk to say the least.

I'd love to 'video' that chit-chat and post it

on my kiss vidz page.

not that I'm trying to be an ass, but enough is enough. either 'commit' to a real relationship,

or let's just be friends.

but don't string-me-along and then tell me it's ok that

I go out w/others,

and then have a 'meltdown-breakdown' because I do.

either put up and put out, or shut up and get out!!!


alrighty then. the girls will be home soon,

and I wanna visit with them for a while and see what they want for dinner before I leave.

I'll see ya guys later...


good evening everyone.

have you ever anticipated a night going one way,

and then it just seems to flow in the

exact opposite direction?

that was my entire evening.

and I can't even bitch about l.g. being late tonight,

cause she was 10min early.

anyway. we had a very 'good' date,

meeting-up at a italian restaurant in westlake village. actually, as soon as I saw her come towards our table after she arrived, I realized I was in trouble.

she was dressed in the black pant suit w/black pumps

that I love. ugh.

plus she had 'obsession' by ck on.

ya-ya-ya. I know it's a 80's fragrance,

but I have 'loved' it ever since 1986... LOVED IT!!!

and gave l.g. a bottle this christmas as a 'stocking stuffer'.

so she wore the suit, smelled extremely delicious,

and gave me her perfect porcelain smile.

I was putty before we kissed each other hello.

as far as our meal together;

we shared two bottles of merlot, various apps,

and we each had linguine w/fresh clams.

*if you and your date eat the same smelly dish,

then there are no 'hang-ups' when you decide to 'get close'.

after dinner, we walked around the westlake area,

held hands, and enjoyed each others company.

along with the relatively warm weather.

I am not going to say it was a perfect night,

but it was far and away not my 'worst date ever'.

I think her and I may have rushed our relationship faster than we should have in the begining,

and from that moment on,

we've been playing 'catch-up' with our emotions.

and sometimes when a physical relationship duels a

more practical approach,

both parties lose in the end.

so for the time being,

my 'girlfriend' and I are going to try to get to know one another as we should have at the start.

we lay no blame on one another,

we both are consenting adults,

just maybe too eager at times is all.

ok then. now that I've totally bored you guys beyond belief,

I guess I'll call it a night and go to bed.

nite. february. done...

to be continued on 'my thought.3.1'...