**completed: 06 June 2013/10pm
01 June 2013/11pm
I've received quite a bit of 'feedback' regarding
my last posting of 5.27.2013.
sorry. but I won't be responding back,
continuing that conversation...
*oh. and apparently I 'mistakenly' posted 'notes to myself' that I had written on this page a few days ago.
live & learn I say...
**I won't lose any sleep over it,
and neither should any of you. lol
ok then. I'm currently in scottsdale w/Ash & Elli,
looking over the 'very slow' progression
of my 'Cat-Dog Spa'.
I've decided that until the work that has already been paid for is completed (in it's entirety),
the 'money-train' is to be stopped immediately.
needless to say,
I am very disappointed (in fact, I'm pissed-off)
that my 'business partner' has just let this job go unsupervised to its current state of incompleteness.
I actually got into a very 'almost heated' discussion with the construction foreman;
I never agreed to 'paid lunches',
4/10's with the 5th 10hr day being over-time,
and a 'completion bonus' regardless of the
actual date completed.
this situation is 'almost' totally out of control.
the pictures/updates I've been sent,
along with the progress reports 'do not match'
what I had observed today.
plus. the security company 'I' personally hired,
informed me this afternoon that the 'wife of my business partner' told them to 'cut-back' and not be present 24/7.
so. my question to my 'biz-partner's-wife';
where is the monies 'not spent' on these services I had already paid for during the month of april/may?
she had no response,
and looked as if she had been caught with
her hand in the cash register.
guess what... she was.
ok then. this isn't exactly what I had planned to write
about and post tonite
(I saved my 'unfinished' update, and will finish it later).
but considering the fact that this is all I'm thinking about
'right this very moment',
you lucky people get to read about it.
so with this being the weekend,
I'm going to be here at least thru tuesday getting
everything 'sorted-out' properly.
and since I put a hold on the 'shared' bank account,
I will personally attend to that part of
our 'business partnership' also.
and even though I am not entirely sold on the idea
of 'sole ownership' of this opportunity,
it is a real possibility now.
which 'fucking sucks'!!!
I'm not going to relocate here to the arizona desert,
which would entail a 'hiring-fuck-fest' trying to find trustworthy individuals who would be able to properly function without an 'owner's presence' daily.
I am in such a foul damn mood right now.
if the girls hadn't been with me today,
I may have 'lost-it' with this 'individual' who treated our 'business finances' as if it was her own 'private slush fund'.
and even if my 'actual' partner adamantly claims he was
'totally unaware' that this had been going on,
I still find it hard to believe.
so with one swift kick to my ass,
I may have lost a friend/business partner and a wonderful arrangement for this current business venture.
time will tell.
ok then. I'm going to go to bed.
I'll continue with this sometime tomorrow.
*I wouldn't blame some of you if you never
came back here again.
all I've done for the past few weeks is
bitch, bitch, bitch.
**actually. this is my only 'release' from the toxicities
that have 'over-run' my life lately.
***and no. the pregnancies aren't toxic,
but one of the 'carriers' has been lately!!!
good nite everyone. sweet dreams beautiful...
03 June 2013/1am
since I am 'wide-the-fuck-awake,
and I didn't bring any relaxers/sleeping pills,
I thought I'd bore you guys some more.
*as most of you know,
I don't take any kind of 'relaxers' when I travel
with the girls.
alrighty then. I took Ash/Elli to the airport this afternoon and even sat with them at the gate until they departed.
*I had my ticket w/me.
once they left,
I returned my car rental,
exchanging it for a 'one way' rental back to SoCal.
they actually gave me a great deal also.
she gave me a '12 mustang conv and set me up for
a return to thousand oaks...
so with the girls getting the suv at LAX when they
arrived this evening, I'll just need 'someone/anyone' to
pick me up in T.O. when I arrive.
and since I have this 'beast' until 6pm on wednesday,
I'm going to take my time going home.
I love to drive 'long distances' by-myself.
(approx 420miles, 6 1/2hrs)
no dogs, no bango-bango music, and I'm the only one that needs to stop for a piss break.
*or, I can just 'relieve myself' into a cup/can while
I'm driving to save time.
shut-up. like none of you have ever done that.
I have only driven the '10' once before,
and that was in my old rv a few years back.
if I remember correctly though,
the drive is about as exciting as a rectal exam.
I'm guessing I'll leave sometime tuesday, and maybe stop near joshua tree national park to spend the night.
the high temps on tues/wed for my
'travel route' are 98'-107'.
I need to make sure I lather my face/arms w/sunscreen so
I don't look like 'lobster-man' when I get home.
*isn't this some exciting stuff???
sorry. I'm just so damn tired of bitching &
and that's all these posts have been
these past couple of weeks.
*I'm sorry about that also.
besides, my day tomorrow promises to be a
pretty 'stressful' one I'm sure.
so after I got the mustang, I went to pick-up pizza/beer
and just came back here to my hotel room.
yep. mr excitement. that's me.
while I was eating my double cheese, sausage, olive
w/green & red peppers (well done... of course)
and eagerly pouring a few bud lights down my throat,
I was 'catching-up' on my blog/web site reading
of some of you.
babies being born, pets adopted, summer vaca's planned, and of course;
sexual content from a few of you.
*I've decided until I get 're-vazzed' I'm going to take a 'solid oath of celibacy'.
or at least find a 'willing participant' who has
a daily 'pill' regiment.
or even better,
has been relieved of her reproduction capabilities.
speaking of which. I was so informed thru a 'third party'
this afternoon that l.g. and I have a meet/great set-up for this saturday at her place of business. nice to know.
gosh. I hope I can make it!!!
*not 'trying to be a 'dick/asshole/douchebag',
but seriously woman.
quit being a damn 'drama-queen' already.
I may have to reconsider some of 'our' previous' discussions that we had shared just a few months ago.
apparently, my opinion doesn't count towards
the final vote of anything.
*or so I've been told. we'll see.
in other news;
my entire summer vacation will be spent in the states,
on the left coast until the 'outcome' of my past transgressions become apparent.
or at least until I hear those magical words (again);
"fuck-off and die mother-fucker"!!!
and to think. just a few short months ago my
biggest concern was whether I was going to relive
some 'past memories' or make 'new ones'.
I've currently decided to nix both for right now.
it's a damn shame that I haven't 'really' done anything noteworthy to this point in my life that would stand-out
as a '15min moment' so I could just develop my
'actual life story' in book form.
I really think if I had established myself as 'something/anything',
my 'real-life-bio' would possibly be a 'good read'.
even if I wrote it/self published,
people would be like... WHO is this ass-fuck???
oh well. I'll just keep-on-truckin',
we'll see what happens with these 'fictional' stories that
I've been working-on for the past 1000yrs.
*maybe this summer will be my time to write.
ok then. it's nearly 1am,
and I'm going to take a shower and try to
get some sleep.
(still very much wide awake though)
good night from the HOT arizona desert.
sweet dreams beautiful...
good 'late-night' evening everyone.
this 'updating/posting' a couple days in a row is
kinda cool again.
anyway. today was just as 'awful' as I thought it
was going to be.
basically a 'He said, She said/did' discussion.
except for the fact that I had proof on paper.
(ie: bank records & contractual agreements)
needless to say,
my partner (and his wife) are no longer
attached to this venture.
*by her getting involved,
the legalized signed contract was severely broken.
and yes. I expect legal action to be forthcoming.
no worries. I feel better right this very moment than
I have in the past two months.
anyway. remodel/construction has also
been temporarily suspended,
and a entirely new 24/7 security company
has been hired.
so, that was my day. how was yours?
I spent the evening at a sports bar watching
the pacers/heat game 7.
I'm not a huge nba fan (LA Lakers/Clippers... kind of),
but I wanted to watch LeBron james lose
on his 'home court'.
needless to say, I was disappointed....
also, during the game I kept company with a few 'seniors' talking about the 'prima-doña' athletes these days,
and how these overpaid/under achieving man-babies have ruined almost ALL sports.
after the game I did a 'whataburger' drive-thru and just came back to the hotel.
and considering the fact that I 'completed' my tasks at hand today, I will indeed be checking-out of here tomorrow morning, and begin my drive back home.
not sure if I will be driving straight thru,
or stopping-off somewhere tomorrow night.
I'll guess I'll decide 'while enroute'...
I talked w/Ash & Elli this afternoon,
they both wanted to 'give me a heads-up' that l.g.
had been to the house this past week-end and
packed-up ALL of her things.
so I'm guessing Jessica decided to 'take charge' and let
ms moody-pants in and take whatever the hell she wanted. so be it.
maybe that's what she wants to meet with me
about next week-end. whatever.
*I'm not that upset w/Jess,
but I wish she had notified me of the happenings
at my house. at MY house.
**but Jessica is also rather moody/bitchy lately,
so I'll choose my 'disagreements' very, very carefully.
I do have bigger worries than some
'possible former love interest'
taking things out of my house that may,
or may not have been be hers to take.
I've been trying to determine what the fuck I could have done to deserve this 'change of luck' recently.
whatever it is,
I need to ask for forgiveness immediately.
ok then. I think I should go to bed soon.
(I bought 'over-the-counter' sleeping pills today.)
first I'll have a few beers,
and watch the local news/weather.
good nite everyone.
sweet dreams beautiful...
06 June 2013/10pm
I’ve been sleeping terribly lately,
and it’s making me so much more tired during
the day than I usually am.
I can’t seem to get my brain to wind down once I get to bed, it’s always racing with what-ifs and worst-case scenarios and things that I could/should change.
It’s like once my head hits the pillow,
it switches to 'instant alarmist'.
*so starting tonite, I've decided to come up here an hour earlier and try to relax and see if that helps.
3-4hrs sleep a nite really sucks ass-fumes.
and since l.g. had me stop going to my 'head-doc' last month I don't have a 'release' to express myself to.
it's no wonder that I have been a fucking loon on these
pages for the past few 'updates'.
I apologize to those of you who have been reading
my words the last three years.
*everybody has their up's and downs.
**I'm thinking this 'may' be a 'down' time for me.
I'll get thru it.
I know I need to restart my search for another therapist
but God, it was so fucking hard last time.
plus, you have to 'start ALL over' with someone new.
shit. maybe I should just make a damn video of myself 'emptying my soul' and giving instructions to all the 'skeletons in my graveyard'.
that way when I have my 'initial' appointment,
I don't have to blah-blah-blah the same
shit every single time.
speaking of videos,
a few of you have inquired as to when I plan to debut my 'mr. kiss' page w/my beautiful face,
and well spoken mannerism.
well. here it is;
I 'kinda' only made that page as a façade,
w/the sole intention of 'pissing-off' my 'girl' friend.
and it did. omg it did!!!
but now since I've been thinking about 'this concept' for the past week or so, I 'may indeed' just do this after all.
l.g.'s jealously over certain things is un-fucking-believable!!! and one of the 'things' is me spending so much time on
this web-site', which is ridiculous.
I barely spend an 'hour-a-day' updating.
*unless I am doing a 'new page',
or maybe if I have alot to say.
and normally, I wait to update until I go upstairs to bed,
which is anywhere between 10p-11p.
and apparently that would even 'piss-her-off' even more.
she would say that I'd rather be 'updating' than spending 'quality time' with her, alone.
which is outright bullshit.
as the times she would stay here, all she was doing in bed was work on her laptop regardless if I was updating or not. but as she says, her 'comp-time' is work and pays the bills. while my 'comp-time' is worthless drivel,
and has even caused a few personal security issues.
I agreed with her to a certain degree.
but also told her if this is something I enjoy,
why couldn't she understand that and let me just have an hour a day to release my inner thoughts.
her reaction was 'the eye-roll'.
I fucking hate the eye-roll.
so anyway. I enjoyed my 'solo-drive' back from scottsdale. stopping about mid-way in indio, ca.
*what a metropolitan city of excitement that place is.
even though I was slathered w/sunscreen;
my forehead, nose, and the back of my neck have a nice 'burnt-reddish-tint' to them.
not to mention the pain associated w/a sunburn.
the mustang convert I was driving was nice,
and got me home safe.
enroute back, I detoured to pch and had a nice lunch in laguna beach, and then drove the coast
to westlake blvd/hwy 23.
sometimes I'll take topanga canyon or malibu canyon
back up to agoura.
Ash, Elli & Jessica were in thousand oaks when I arrived/return the car rental.
and then we went to dinner at the olive garden.
today was spent going thru mail/paying bills and laundry.
a very exciting 'mr mom' day it was.
tomorrow is groceries (people/animals),
and possibly a haircut. or trim.
my hair is the longest it's ever been. EVER.
maybe this 'hair thing' is my midlife crisis.
who knows. who cares.
I have decided this though;
I am so much happier 'not' being in a relationship,
than I am being in one.
which is 'the exact opposite' of what I said over
two years ago.
I'm guessing I'm going to be one of 'those old guys'
you see being escorted out and about by
a hottie twenty/thirty something in the years to come.
*as long as they are never younger than Ash, I'm good.
so listen. it's been a while since I told ALL of you how much I appreciate you guys coming here to let me share
my life with.
regardless if you have a 'look see' to be curious or to ridicule, it really doesn't matter I guess.
I never really paid attention to 'site activity' much,
but Jessica likes to see how many views I get every so often. I think I'm 'up to' almost 5 views a day. ;)
ok then. enough is enough.
I still need to brush, floss, gargle/rinse.
good nite everyone. sweet dreams beautiful.
to be continued... soon.